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The Importance of Kids Connecting with Their Grandparents and Across Generations



Have you ever witnessed the special bond between your Montessori child and their grandparents? There is something precious about identifying your parents’ mannerisms or physical traits in your children as they grow into themselves. If they’re lucky, your kids have the benefit of living close enough to elder relatives to enjoy frequent visits and celebrate special occasions together. Especially blessed are those who can count on extended family members to participate in the kids’ daily care.  


Unfortunately, life is complicated, and that’s not always possible. Complex family dynamics can result in estrangement or separation. Some grandparents may have passed. Others may live at a distance, and try as you might, schedules don’t come together with ease. If so, regular phone calls and video chats between the kids and their grandparents, just to check in, can sustain connection while they anticipate their next in-person visit.  


In addition, though, you may want to consider alternative ways for you and your kids to interact with seniors you are not related to, like a retired neighbor. The advantages may surprise you! 


Kids relate to their elders in unexpected ways, and it can go well beyond a shared hobby or a favorite color, but small commonalities can function as the first step in building rapport. While your children are developing practical life skills to become independent, seniors with growing mobility issues and decreasing mental capacity are perhaps trying to maintain their independence. Though their positions may be at opposite ends, their everyday struggles can be similar. 


Connection & Companionship

A friendship between a child and a senior citizen can fill a void for both people. Kids who miss their grandparents or who are having trouble relating to their peers may welcome an older friend. And unfortunately, it is common for the elderly to experience social isolation and loneliness from time to time. Even an hour spent at a senior center, under your supervision, can be rewarding for all involved. Whether they have a simple conversation, play a board game, make a craft, or share a snack, interaction between your child and an elderly neighbor can be stimulating, joyful, and nurturing. It is companionship and comfort, but it can also be much more. 


Knowledge & Perspective

Elders can provide anecdotal wisdom, valuable insight, and stories of lived experiences that give your child personal context for historical events. And yes, for Generation Alpha, “historical” means payphones in public places! In turn, children can share amusing pop culture trends, teach seniors how to navigate social media, and discuss the differences in their upbringings (New Math anyone?). They can compare and contrast old wives’ tales and today’s life hacks! In a very real way, your child and an elder can mentor each other. They can shed new light on any number of topics from having such distinctly different perspectives. We all have something to learn from everyone else. 


Personal Growth & Empathy

Conversations between friends from different age groups automatically creates a space for open-mindedness. It’s easy to make assumptions about “kids these days” or “that old guy” until you get to know someone and they challenge preconceived notions. When you engage in actual conversations, views begin to shift and become more nuanced. Understanding of the world increases, and so does empathy for others. These connections can seed new curiosities and lead to profound life lessons for both child and elder. 


Kindness & Community

Developing a relationship with a senior presents your child the opportunity to practice care for someone whose needs are markedly different from theirs (and likely different from most people in their everyday world). As a matter of course, Montessori students learn life skills to become self-sufficient and feel empowered. Placing them in a situation to consider how their actions help others and how these skills can make a difference in quality of life can be impactful. And by inviting someone into their sphere and sharing experiences, your child is simultaneously building their own community and contributing to it. You may be hard-pressed to identify who is giving and who is receiving kindness and care because the truth is that such connections are mutually beneficial. Everyone wins!



Connecting Across Generations

Check your local community center, church, and library for intergenerational programs and activities. Look for events that are designated for all ages. Ask a senior care facility in your neighborhood if you and your kids can visit residents with no close family. Invite your child’s classmates and their families to join you. 


Of course it is up to you to determine appropriate parameters for each child, taking into consideration their unique needs and what avenues are safe to pursue. It is entirely possible that an attempt to connect your child with their elders results in a one-time visit with little long-term impact. Someday, they may drive by the senior center and think to themselves, “Hey, I remember reading a story with that kind man once,” and that may be the sum total effect. But it is also possible for something to awaken in your kid, for a real interest to form, or a significant relationship to develop. It is just as plausible that as an adult, they will pass a late neighbor’s house and fondly reminisce about the afternoons spent having tea or gardening with someone who became very special to them. After all, you never know where you will find kindred spirits! 


Don’t forget to listen to the Modern Montessori Podcast episode, “The True Gift of Giving in the New Year”! 

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