Applying Montessori Values at Home

It’s the end of a long day, or a sleepless night, or a particularly stressful week. The last thing you want to do is think about cooking an entire meal by yourself, much less one with nutritional value that your kids might actually eat. Then, there’s the clean-up. You’re exhausted just thinking about it. Takeout from a drive-thru it is! It happens. We all have days when convenience wins over the healthiest choice. But if it is happening more often than you like, what can you do?

May we suggest applying some Montessori principles at home? In the modern Montessori classroom, a child’s confidence is nurtured by their actions and efforts being acknowledged and encouraged, not necessarily by how well they accomplish a task. The basic values intrinsic to Montessori – care for self, others, and the environment – can be exponentially beneficial for your kids (and by extension, you) when they are practiced in the home as well.

Many parents new to Montessori are surprised when they witness their child taking the initiative to clean up a shared classroom space or help a classmate put away supplies, particularly when no one explicitly asked them to do it. It may be that when your kids are at home, they naturally revert to long-held patterns of behavior like “Dad always sets the table,” or “Mom organizes the pantry after grocery shopping.” Expectations are set, so it may not occur to them that they can help complete a certain chore. They may even think they’re in the way, or they’re just not allowed to do it. Somewhere along the line, the idea that they are too young to contribute to upkeep of the family home may have subconsciously taken root.

Nothing can be further from the truth! Giving young children simple chores like washing produce, pouring drinks, or wiping down the counter reaps a number of benefits. When they perform a new action, there is a fresh opportunity to employ a different set of motor skills. An innate urge to contribute stirs, and they are prompted to complete a task, learn how to perform it well, then better. They gain a sense of satisfaction when they feel useful to other family members. They’re part of the team.

Your role as a parent is to provide the appropriate tools for your child, to match your requests to their capabilities so they are not immediately overwhelmed or discouraged, to observe their progress, then proceed accordingly. Ask them to repeat tasks so they can become more comfortable with the actions, or make different requests that align with their growth.

With every chore they do accomplish, confidence blooms. Every time you express appreciation for their efforts, they are motivated to find other ways to help. And voilà! Your child’s natural inclination toward independent action becomes a part of their everyday activities. Your home environment can be a space where the entire family collaborates, or each person can work alone to contribute to a shared goal. Both are possible.

Doesn’t that remove a little of the dread around planning your next meal, or taking on the spring cleaning, or dreaming up the next family trip? This mindset can be applied to all aspects of your home life. No matter your particular situation – a single parent, someone with a well-established support community, or one whose situation is frustratingly complex – engaging your child in the everyday to-do list of life can be the support everyone in the family needs. 

If you're interested in more on this topic, please listen to Episode 3 of the Modern Montessori podcast where we go over this as well as myths and realities in a Montessori Education.